Return to Nepal: The kindness of strangers

When winter vacation came around, I found myself faced with the same decision I have had to make every time I had more than a few days off of work – to volunteer or to be a tourist in a new country. And like always, I ended up choosing to return to All Hands Volunteers.

The plan was simple. I’d leave Korea in the early afternoon, get to China in the early evening, catch a connection from China straight to Nepal, and touch down in Kathmandu at 10:30pm on Saturday, January 21^st. I had the same hostel booked in the city as another volunteer from Italy, and we’d meet up with a group of Americans on the morning of the 22^nd. They had rented a private ride from Kathmandu straight to the suspension bridge that led to Sano Sakhuwa, where we’d make a short hike to get to the All Hands Volunteers base before sunset on Sunday the 22^nd. It was a little more expensive to take the private car, but having leg room, the ability to stop for bathroom breaks, and the company of fellow volunteers for the five to six hour drive seemed worth it. The plan was simple, and the plan was perfect. Until it started to snow in Korea.

Sitting at my gate at Incheon Airport in Seoul, South Korea, I eagerly waited for my boarding time to arrive. Snow dusted the ground outside, and passengers flocked to the airport windows, dawning smartphones and snapping photos for Instagram feeds and Facebook updates. And though it was only a small amount of snow, a flashing light appeared the screen by the gate as the boarding time approached: “Flight delayed 40 minutes.” Everyone sat back down, thinking nothing of it, as a 40 minute delay wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

The 40 minutes passed quickly and we began to board the plane without any further delay. I sat in my seat, looking forward to the in-flight meal, since I hadn’t eaten anything that day and it was nearing 3:00pm. I had no reason to worry – the snow was still light and the day was still early.

10 minutes passed. 20 minutes passed and we still hadn’t left the gate. 30 minutes passed and the crew handed out peanuts as an apology for the delay. 50 minutes passed and we finally moved away from our gate. We sat on the runway for a while. I fell asleep.

When I woke up, we were still on the runway, and the time was 4:30pm. We started to move, but as I looked out the window at our path, we ultimately ended up going in a circle, arriving back at the original gate. The pilot’s voice came on the loudspeaker – we were detained and needed to be de-iced. There was a line of other airplanes ahead of us, and it was at this point that I realized I probably would not make my connection in China. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even be able to arrive in Kathmandu until the next day, as the original flight out of China was supposed to be one of the last outgoing flights of the day. I took a deep breath and recalled reading a passage in the All Hands Volunteers guidebook titled “What if something goes wrong?”

Relax. Take a deep breath. This is international travel and something is always going to go wrong. That’s part of the fun, right? Patience and a smile go a long way in a stressful situation.

I’d been on several projects and have never had any major setbacks on my way to base, so I guessed I was due. I took a deep breath, contacted All Hands to tell them my situation while I still had internet in Korea, and waited to see what would happen.

When we finally landed in China that night, my fears were confirmed – the next available flight to Kathmandu wouldn’t be until the following morning. In the chaos and worry of what I would be doing in China without a visa for the night, I found a group of Nepali men in the same situation as I. We made our way through customs on a newly-granted 24-hour visa, and it turned out that the airline was kind enough to offer a hotel for the night.

About half an hour and a few wrong turns later, we were seated on a bus heading towards our accommodation. Because one of the men had left his luggage at the airport by accident, I helped explain the situation to the hotel staff in English, as the Nepali men were having trouble communicating the mistake. We had a language barrier, but it was nice to have some company dealing with the same flight misfortune. When the man’s luggage arrived back at the hotel, we said our good-nights and headed to our rooms to spend the night and prepare for the early morning bus back to the airport the next day.

When I opened the door to my room, I was pleasantly surprised. The room was beautiful, and while I would rather have made it to Nepal to make the journey to base with the other volunteers, this wasn’t a bad consolation prize. It also occurred to me in this moment that this would be the last hot shower and comfortable bed I would have until I returned to Korea, so I made the most of it and settled into my soft bed for the short night ahead.

Fancy schmancy hotel room in China with a hot shower and a soft bed

The next morning, we traveled to the airport together, making out way through security and finding our gate. Along the way, I learned some of their stories. Most of them were visiting home after working in Korea, which offered jobs and pay that they could send home to their families. One of them was moving home for good, while others would return to Korea after a few months. The man I had become closest with was named Lama, and he would be returning to Korea in three months to continue work.

In our conversations, I mentioned that I was not sure where to stay in Kathmandu that night, since the day delay of my arrival left me unprepared with accommodation. He told me he would help me find a place and a plan to get to the volunteer base the next morning before we went our separate ways. He ended up finding me a hotel and a ride to the bus park the next morning for a really great price before we exchanged information and he went home. This was a man who had not seen his family for an entire year, and he took the time to help me, a random person he met a day earlier, get situated in Kathmandu before he went to see his family. Such kindness and generosity from a complete stranger was unexpected, but, as it turns out, is extremely representative of the people of Nepal. And although this was my first brush with such hospitality, it would not be my last.

After I settled into the hotel, I had some time to kill. It was still early in the afternoon, so I decided to head downtown to a neighborhood called Thamel to buy a hat and some pants to stay warm once I arrived at the volunteer site. The hotel told me it was a 25-minute cab ride, but I never met a city I couldn’t walk, so I decided to head out on foot. I asked which way Thamel was, and left with a backpack, estimating about an hour and a half for the journey.

Because I had no map or idea of Kathmandu’s layout, I made a habit of asking someone where Thamel was at every major intersection to make sure I was walking in the right direction. About 50 minutes into my journey, I asked a man where Thamel was, and he replied that he was heading there as well, since he lived very close to the neighborhood. He offered to take me there, and I accepted.

He told me that he had lived in the US for a good part of his life, but had returned home to Nepal to be with his family, as life abroad was a bit lonely. He had been home for several years now, and he was planning on knocking down a part of his family’s house to build a new section that he could rent to tourists in Thamel. The reason he was out and about on this particular day was that he was getting paperwork approved by the government for the destruction and rebuilding of his property. But the office had closed early, so he was heading home and would have to return tomorrow.

The walk to Thamel ended up being longer and with more twists and turns than I had originally anticipated, and I was glad to have a friend with me to show me the way. About halfway through the trip, we took a detour to a nice park near his home, and he showed me around the surrounding neighborhoods, telling me about his life abroad and learning of my journey to volunteer with All Hands.

Instead of going straight to Thamel, he suggested we see his home first because it was on the way, and he wanted me to meet his mother. Stranger danger flashed through my mind, but I decided that I trusted this man, so I followed him away from the main street. When we arrived, I met his mother and brother, and I was invited inside for tea. Tea turned into oranges, bread, molasses, and a spinach curry. I spoke with the family through my new friend, Ramachandra Thapa, who translated for me. After tea, we decided to proceed to Thamel, and I said goodbye to his family as we made our way out.

The view from my new friend’s house

When we arrived in Thamel, we walked around a bit, took a few selfies, and Ramachandra helped me bargain down some of the prices of the hat and pants. When the sun started to set, we made our way back, and we exchanged information as we parted again. He was nice enough to walk me back to the park near his home, from where I knew how to get home on my own, even in the dark of night. For the next hour and a half of solo walking, I had a smile on my face, feeling extremely grateful for his kindness and my ability to remember directions.

Selfie with Ramachandra Thapa!

I was astonished by the kindness of this man, who met a foreigner at a street corner after experiencing a day of frustration at the government office. Despite his setback, he spent the next four hours with me, invited me into his house, introduced me to his family, and told me his life story. And on top of that, he took me to Thamel and helped me haggle with the shop owners.

I could say I was lucky, that I met the right people at the right time, but my experiences in this country and the tales I have heard from other travelers tell a different story. The people of Nepal have been accommodating and genuine, kind and warm, welcoming and helpful to so many people on so many different occasions. In a world where so many people are plagued by hidden agendas, political struggle, and personal judgments, the people of this country have opened up their hearts and their homes to strangers from all over.

It’s true that we, as travelers, have so much to learn from so many different places, but I wish that simple human decency were not one of these lessons. Kindness and generosity is not a cultural lesson, but a human one. It’s a lesson that we can learn not only from the people of Nepal, but from anyone decent enough to forgo judgment and selfishness enough to let others in. So the next time you see someone struggling in a new country, lost and afraid, looking for a spot on a map that they have only seen on a webpage, offer some help. Tell them directions, walk them to their destination, or help them interact with the local culture. Teach them about your country instead of passing judgment and cruel words, because there are people out there who do this without a second thought, and we shouldn’t be as surprised as we are when we hear about them.