The hardest part of leaving

This isn’t my first time here.
This isn’t my last time here.
These aren’t the last words I’ll share.
But just in case, I’m trying my hardest to get it right this time around.
~ Sarah Kay

The hardest part of leaving is deciding which lie to tell.
See you soon, I’ll visit you later, my couch is always open.
Everywhere I go, I hear echoes from nomadic mouths
Telling me that people are like moments:
Existing only in a short second
Only for a short part of the journey
Before disappearing into a scrapbook
Buried in the backs of our minds.
All of the hopes of reuniting and promises to keep in touch
Are just lies we tell ourselves to make goodbye feel a little bit easier.
It’s better to just plan on missing each other instead.

But the first time I walked away,
With my bags full of dirty laundry
And the air full of open promises,
I told everyone that it wasn’t over.
That we’d find another island.
Another beach.
Another rooftop.
And we’d fall asleep under the stars once more.

And though these words were only meant for a few,
They are uttered to every kind soul I’ve met.
And I’m still trying my hardest
To make good on all of the open invitations that have escaped my mouth.
And I’m aiming to make sure these words of hope
Of friendship, of reconnecting, of more than just single moments
Are heard by the ones who need to hear them.

My passport reads like an open-ended novel,
With chapters filled with indecision and countless options,
Linking each new place to dozens of new possibilities.
And yours,
Well, yours weaves in and out of countries and continents
Along rivers and through valleys
Searching for something that only you can know.

Our stories are separate and our moments are isolated
But if we want, we can make them intersect every so often.
The world is only as big as we think it is.
And as I plan the next steps of this journey,
It’s easy to lie and say one day I’ll see you again,
With no intent to follow through on that blanket promise we make with every new passport stamp.

But we aren’t that kind of moment, and this isn’t that kind of goodbye.
We make the effort for the people we think are worth it.
So if I tell you that I’ll see you again,
Keep your head forward and your eyes on the next journey,
And I’ll meet you somewhere along the way.